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  • Melody Kandil

Empathy Heals ✨

Empathy is a vulnerable choice. It’s choosing to connect to a place within us that understands the feeling within others. It’s not about how we respond to them to be quite honest sometimes the best response can be thank you for sharing that with me. Whatever you need I’m here for you and give them a big ole hug. Connection is the greatest fuel to make things feel better. That hug can release so much tension from ones body.

It could feel as though one is carrying the weight of the world yet it dissipates when they are in another’s arms even if it’s only for a moment. Appreciating those moments is what makes us create more of those moments. When one of us fails having another person look at us and say try again could be all we really needed. We are so quick to judge, annihilate, criticize, and tell someone they aren’t doing good enough. Do we honestly step back and think will this really motivate this person? Is this the way I should present this information? Maybe just maybe we should look in the mirror and try to figure out how we can do better showing up for others.

Maybe ask are you doing okay? How are you? Instead of just going for the jugular when they don’t measure up in one of the many different facets of life. We all have performance issues. There are things going on behind closed doors that no one knows about. There are battles that you wouldn’t even fathom happening for some people. They are trying to face this darkness while going to work or coming home and feeling extremely neglected.

Now we don’t want that to make us go down sympathy lane because we are talking about empathy right now. Sympathy would feel sorry for them. Sometimes it would enable their actions or even look past what they are feeling and tell them well at least you have these other things in your life. Sympathy is ooo I’m sorry you’re in a dark place man it sucks down there. Empathy is joining them in the darkness and sitting right by their side. Reminding them that they are not alone and never will be. Being vulnerable enough to dig deep and show up with love and kindness.

Empathy is being truly concerned for the person. It’s about caring enough to value this human not just what they can do. We are suffering in our world today because we are taught to care more about what people can put out into the world instead of what is going on within them. We are taught if they are failing to produce they need to be fired. We are taught to replace people as quickly as we found them. Some people have never had someone praise their strengths and show them their value. I’m not saying this is an outsiders job because we must find it within ourselves but I’d be a liar if I didn’t say having encouragement outside of ourselves is greatly needed.

When another person says I see you, I hear you, I feel you. That can be the start of a powerful shift within a person. The support of others is a necessity for growth within us as humans. We aren’t meant to run the course of life on our own as a matter of fact we live longer and get much further when we have magical human beings beside us. There is greater depth and understanding when we share with others.

Giving up on ourselves and others has become so normalized in society it’s a real shame. It’s defeating for people to take a risk because they fear they won’t even get a real chance. This has become a limitation society has placed on us. This puts everyone else in power and takes our power away from us. When we allow that to happen it will be a lost cause from the start because we are placing our value in the hands of people who can’t afford to hold that precious cargo.

Again, this is why we need strong foundational relationships in our lives. It’s these people that will support us when we feel our lowest. It’s these people that will encourage us when we feel like a failure. It’s these people that will sit right beside us in silence and their presence is more than enough. It’s these people that will help our wavering faith in honesty, cooperation, trust, and loyalty. These are relationships that we have created a safe space for one another to be as we are. A space where we can ask questions. A space where we can listen and grow. A space where we can say I’m scared, I need help, and I’ve made mistakes. A space where we can understand and expand with one another. These are the spaces that must be created in business, family, friendships, and romantic relationships for people to truly flourish.

We are all hiding from our truth because we are scared of rejection. We are scared to not be perfect. We are scared to be reprimanded. How are we going to build our confidence from a place of hiding? The answer is we aren’t. The only way to find peace is through vulnerability, openness, and empathy. These type of environments are what need to be created for real profound change. We’re all trying to find our way in this world and searching vigorously for answers. At the end of the day we’re all really desiring to be loved and cared for. To give and receive love fluidly. We are so quick to believe negatively let’s try to find moments of positivity in the days, months, and years to come and hold onto those.

Let’s practice empathizing daily. We don’t always have to be first, to be right, to succeed. Let’s try to step outside of our own lives for a moment and recognize we’re just a moving piece in this worldly puzzle and there are so many paths to get to where we want to be. In the end we are exactly where we are supposed to be. Everyone has been through their own journey which in turn gave them a different worldview. Remember you don’t need to share someone’s opinion in order to understand and acknowledge it. There are always shared commonalities even with people who have different beliefs and cultures than ours. The human experience is a shared experience.

Stay open my beautiful people.

Until next time,

Sending you all love and light!

Here’s some things to ponder & exercises to try:

Observe others and be curious to how they are doing? Slow down and actively listen to what someone is trying to tell you. Ask follow up questions. Try to understand their emotional state. Try your best to decipher the deeper motivations for their explanations.

Learning about others experiences will open up and expand your own world. Hold the door for people. Let them over into your lane even when you’re in a rush. Pick up the phone and listen. When we open up to each other about what’s really going on it will bring mutual fulfillment and understanding.

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